he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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