Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
