I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
