wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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