He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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