The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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