so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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