wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
