wrigley field is MILF paradise
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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