I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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