I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
