i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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