$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
