I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
