Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
