garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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