Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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