It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
