'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
