The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
