Apparently you make a good broom.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
