He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
