yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
