Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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