I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize