Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
