Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
