theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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