you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize