Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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