that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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