Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
