I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
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If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
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I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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