Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
