My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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