My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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