hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
