I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
