I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
