Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
