The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
