he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
