I wanna passion pit in your ass
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
