Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
More tranny stories later!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
