Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Randomize
