My first STD was from a foam party
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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