People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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