im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
