well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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