A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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