There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
