i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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