He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Farmville is her only friend.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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