Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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