he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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