Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
