just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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