Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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