Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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