stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
