the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
