Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
